


r u mine? 'cause i wanna be yours

by sebeunpristin



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Emotional Constipation, Fluffy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, cause im such a trash for fluff, drummer!soonyoung, fuck buddies, guitarist!jihoon, jihoon and soonyoung are idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 11:36:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8531578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebeunpristin/pseuds/sebeunpristin
Summary: Between rock music and motels, Jihoon and Soonyoung refuse to accept they like each other a bit more than the friendship line establishes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I took like five months to write wth  
> Anyways, this is rockband!soonhoon, I saw an edit about it in twitter (https://twitter.com/_jongwu/statuses/741782186593034240) and it inspired me ♥ (that was in june, tho. wow.)  
> I hope you like it!

“At least they’re enthusiastic” Soonyoung says as Jihoon closes their bus door, with much difficulty.

“Enthusiastic my ass” Jihoon snorts, scratching at the keyboard tattoo on his neck (an unhealthy habit that Soonyoung thought it was adorable nonetheless) “These fuckers are lunatics.”

Somehow, during the first show of their first big tour with Lost At Seventeen, the people in the audience (supposedly, their fans) started a fist fight. There was blood, screams claiming for a bigger fight and an ambulance outside the concert venue. Guitarrist Jihoon was pissed, drummer Soonyoung was slightly amused, bassist Jeonghan was not caring and vocalist Seokmin was just terrified.

“Why were they fighting?” Seokmin whispers even though they are alone in their bus. Jeonghan shrugs and digs through the frigobar at the corner of the big tour bus.

“Who knows?” the long haired male says “As if we didn’t had our share of fist fights for unknown reasons. It’s a part of punk rock, guys.”

“Yeah, that and people jumping and the crowd and falling face first at the floor ‘cause they think the audience is going to carry them - but they never do” Soonyoung snickers, fiddling with his drumsticks.

“That’s more like glam rock, though?” Seokmin says, but the discussion is interrupted by the door opening again.

For a split of second they can hear the shouts outside even louder. There are two bodyguards keeping the crazy audience away from the bus, and outside they see a glimpse of lost rockers, scared teenagers who just wanted to appreciate a nice show and their manager Seungcheol slipping into the bus with a frown.

“LOST AT SEVENTEEN SUCKS!” they hear a scream from outside.

“YOU SUCK!” another shout is heard and the band snickers (except for Jihoon. He is still pissed.).

The door closes, Seungcheol throws himself at the floor, resting his head against the wall and sighing deeply.

“If the next city is like this as well I will quit” he says.

“No you won’t” Jeonghan smiles while biting the straw of the old coffee he’s drinking “You’re our biggest fan.”

“And honestly, what would you do without me?” Seungcheol throws his bangs back and smirks “I just saved your sorry asses from receiving less money.”

Soonyoung laughs, but then he looks over at Jihoon, who is still sulking at the corner of the vehicle, like a little kid. “Yah. You look like a silly six year old who got some fake tattoos or something.”

Jihoon threw Soonyoung his deathly look (which didn’t had any affect with the drummer) and scratches at his keyboard again.

Being a perfectionist, is understandable why Jihoon was so pissed. Their show was supposed to be perfect - they were going through their first huge tour around the country and, even though fist fights were common in the eyes of everyone else, they weren’t in Jihoon’s.

Soonyoung gets up from his spot and sit next to Jihoon, pulling the younger’s hand to intertwine with his own. One of the tattoos they got together completes each other - a tiny ace of spades in their index finger. They did it at a small hidden studio, somewhere they didn’t even remember where it was, after downing a few drinks in a night Jihoon was stressing too much over their new album and Soonyoung cared too much about him to leave him be like the smaller told him to do. The meaning was basically nonexistent, except for the fact the tattoos completed each other - just like Jihoon and Soonyoung.

Jihoon unconsciouly snuggles closer to Soonyoung, resting his throbbing head on the other man’s shoulder. Soonyoung just smiles and starts babbling about random things, because he knows that’s exactly how to get Jihoon out of a bad mood.

Jeonghan, Seungcheol and Seokmin just laid at the bus’ small couch, eating fast food leftovers and acting like they didn’t saw the two being the boyfriends everyone knew they were - except maybe, themselves.

 

° 17 °

 

Jihoon wakes up with a headache and in a bed that is definetly not his usual bunk in the band’s bus.

It’s such a ridiculously common situation at this point that Jihoon doesn’t even care to sit up startled like the first few times it happened. Also, there was a certain drummer’s arm over his waist pinning him to the dirty motel bed.

How did they got there this time? Oh, right. Last show of the tour, everyone went out for a few drinks to celebrate. Jihoon drank, Soonyoung drank. They both had mouths and hands and other things. There was a bathroom in the bar and there was a motel next to the establishment.

Jihoon feels dirty, like he always does every time _this_ happened. He silently brings a hand up to scratch on the tattoos on his neck, looking over at the man next to him by the corner of the eye.

Soonyoung is cute in his sleep. Jihoon tries to make himself believe that the thought is nothing personal, just a mere statement of the truth, but deep down his brain screams “ _who the fuck do you think you’re kidding?”._ Soonyoung scrunches his nose next to him and tightens the grip around the smaller’s waist and everything Jihoon can think is _fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._

Because he’s not drunk anymore.

In fact, he doubts he even was all that tipsy the previous night.

Jihoon’s heart is beating so hard he’s sure that’s what woke Soonyoung up. The man opens one eye, then the other, and they close again when he smiles at the sight of Jihoon staring at him.

“G’morning” his voice is raspy and comfortable. He grips Jihoon hand and pulls it off from the smaller’s neck, replacing the burning scratching with Soonyoung’s soft touch. His hand travels down to trace the line of Jihoon’s upper arm tattoos, stopping by a particular one of the Cheshire Cat.

“Hey” he answers, heart still thumping.

This was never how it was supposed to happen.

He was supposed to have his nice rock band, tour around the world, do music, feel the ecstasy of playing for a crowd.

He was not supposed to fall for the drummer.

 

° 17 °

 

Jihoon and Soonyoung first met at high school, senior year. They’ve been in the same class for years but never had interest in each other until they did their first tattoos and a common friend, Seokmin, decided it was a good enough reason for them to be friends.

Soonyoung did a barcode on the side of his neck. Jihoon had the smile of the Cheshire Cat (that he would complete with the rest of the character later on).

“What’s the meaning?” Soonyoung asks when Seokmin introduces them, the three sharing a table on the corner of the (refeitório).

“Dunno.” Jihoon is very honest “Wonderland is my brother’s favorite tale. I guess that’s meaningful.”

Soonyoung simply nods, and Jihoon is thankful.

“Yours?” It’s Jihoon’s turn to ask. Sooyoung smiles.

“Same thing.” he says “If anyone asks, I’ll say it means the industrialization of human beings or something. But it’s actually the code for a 500 won strawberry milk carton.”

Jihoon liked him. No, more like he _approved_ of him. He was witty, ambitious and determined, but had a sympathy and a careless feeling Jihoon didn’t had. He was always happy, smiling, being loud and hyperactive; most of the times, it annoyed the smaller boy, but whenever he felt like shit he knew Soonyoung’s excited personality could make him feel better.

They went through senior year together. Soonyoung, Jihoon and Seokmin. Smoking by the school fire stairs, sharing punk rock CDs and collecting tattoos all over their bodies. All of them loving music and playing different instruments, the birth of the band was inevitable. When high school ended and they didn’t had the slighest idea of what they had to do now, recording and releasing singles independently was just natural. Then recording demos and sending it off to labels was simply the next step.

(Soonyoung’s family was very supportive, but Seokmin was kicked out of his house when his parents found out he hadn't even applied to any colleges, too busy with the band matters. He went to live with Jihoon and his brother, which was actually great since Jihoon started having help with the house’s finances, a burden he’s been carrying on his shoulders alone since his parents’ death two years ago.)

It didn’t took long for a label to show interest in them, and they were called for a meeting. It was a big deal. The label said they were fine, but they needed a bassist. That’s when Jeonghan got in, all pretty and older and with both arms closed with tattoos. They were intimidated, but it didn’t took long until they were all close to the long haired boy, producing music together and finally releasing their first album under the name Lost at Seventeen.

Jihoon wasn’t sure when he started looking at Soonyoung in ways other than just his excited best friend. Was it in high school, that night they downed a few shots of vodka and touched each other more suggestively than usual under the moonlight in Jihoon’s rooftop? Or was it later on, while they were producing their album and spent whole nights at the studio, sometimes cuddling in the floor when Jihoon stressed too much with new compositions? Maybe it was during their first shows, when the crowd made Soonyoung nervous and Jihoon would hold his hands and kiss his knuckles to distract him from his anxiety crisis.

The first time they hooked up was in Jihoon’s rooftop after graduation. They thought the fact of surviving through school was a good enough reason to use Soonyoung’s fake ID to buy tons of beer, snacks and getting drunk as fuck for the first time. The night finished with sloppy handjobs and sweet nothings whispered into each other’s ears, and the next morning welcomed them with headaches and a bitter taste of guilt and confusion in their mouths.

The next times were just as random, and they had a silent agreement of not mentioning anything, not even between themselves. That made Jihoon feel like it was just a one time thing, but somehow they would always end up hooking up again.

Because the thing about Soonyoung was that he was always so sweet. He was always so careful and so, so hot. He was always craving for more, and so was Jihoon. The other boy’s scent, his touches, his voice raspy and deep in Jihoon’s ear as he bites the lobe and licks under it, making the smaller moan. Everything about Soonyoung was addicting, and mesmerizing, and so fucking hard to deal with.

Sometimes Jihoon wonders if Soonyoung ever realized all of the Lost At Seventeen songs that were written about him.

 

° 17 °

 

Soonyoung knew the song “Addicting” was about him. The whole sexy aura and dirty lyrics made it clear. He never confronted Jihoon about it, but he knew it.

The first time they went all the way was a bit after their first album realase. Sales were doing fine and people in Spotify seemed to be kind of liking their stuff. Soonyoung was openly happy (no big news), and Jihoon was excited as well (too much of a rare occasion to let it go). Everything was sweet and caring and both whispered airy “I love you”s, too dazed and too scared to say it loud enough for the other to hear.

It became a regular habit, but it was never a sober thing. It was happenings of drunken, needing to feel needed young boys. And it was all so casual and careless Jihoon and Soonyoung managed to convince themselves that it was all just no-feelings casual sex.

(Even though in the back of their minds they knew it wasn’t.)

What Soonyoung didn’t knew, though, was the fact that the sweet and loving song “Can You Be Mine?” was also about him.

 

° 17 °

 

Soonyoung watches carefully as Jihoon wanders around the motel room with a toothbrush hanging off his mouth, hair spiked up from sleeping and wearing only his boxers, that wraps the man's thighs in a delicious way. The older licks his lips unconsciouly, a heat going up his insides.

“You know” Soonyoung calls out, and Jihoon's turns to him bending his pretty body in a way that makes Soonyoung feel dizzy. “You say you want this to stop, but you’re not really collaborating.”

He notices the blush in Jihoon’s cheeks, but chooses to not mention anything - Soonyoung appreciates his life.

“You know, you’re an asshole” Jihoon shouts from the bathroom. When hewalks through the door, his face is damp and he’s wearing a frown that makes him look like a kindergarten kid who didn’t got the toy he wanted.

Soonyoung laughs as he pulls the smaller closer to him, settling him on his lap, Jihoon's legs trapping Soonyoung's thighs. He traces light kisses over Jihoon’s neck and caresses the small of his back, tugging dangerously at the boxer’s waistline.

“And you’re too cute” he whispers into Jihoon’s ear, and he can feel the boy shiver lightly before letting go a loud laugh.

“I’m a scary tattooed guitarist from a punk rock band and you say I’m cute?” Jihoon laughs again and finally returns Soonyoung’s touches, caressing his hair and playing with the strands “Like what, a puppy?”

“More like a kitten, I guess” Soonyoung bites his lower lip and leans in to touch Jihoon’s forehead with his on.

They close their eyes and match their breathing, staying in that position for a while until Jihoon shakes his head and backs away. Soonyoung immediately misses the light weight of the boy over him, but doesn’t discuss - after all, as Jihoon constantly reminds him, he is in no position and won’t ever be.

“This isn’t…” Jihoon’s voice is barely audible. “This is…”

Too much intimacy. Too much feelings. Too much.

Soonyoung sighs. He was done. “Jihoon, why?”

“Huh?” Jihoon is startled. With Soonyoung, it’s never ‘Jihoon’. It’s ‘Jihoonie’, ‘Hoonie’, ‘Love’.

“Why are you like this?” Soonyoung voice tone is dangerously close to angry and done. “Why d’you back away whenever we start being an actual couple with feelings like this? What, d’you only mind about me for sex? Fuck, Jihoon!”

Jihoon only watches silently and blank faced as Soonyoung runs a hand through his hair and motions to kick something but finds nothings. He turns to Jihoon and there’s such a painful look in his eyes that the smaller boy feels a clutch to his heart.

“That’s it?” Soonyoung chuckles bitterly. “I just- I dunno, maybe I had this suggestion that we-” he swallows a lump that’s been forming on his throat. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Jihoon manages to laugh humorlessly. “Yeah, fuck.”

Soonyoung turns to Jihoon and there’s something dead about him. He’s pale, weak, sad. Jihoon sighs and feels like he should smile, but he starts to cry instead. He wants to bring a hand up to caress Soonyoung’s soft cheeks and reassure him, tell him he doesn’t mean that, that he wants to be with him the right way, but he can’t.

He just can’t.

He just shouldn’t.

He just picks up his clothes, dresses silently and drifts off the door, trying his hardest not to let Soonyoung see his tears, now shamelessly running down his face.

 

° 17 °

 

It’s almost two in the morning when Soonyoung receives a call.

He didn’t wanted to do that. He just wanted to watch Game Of Thrones in his room at his parents’ house, enjoying the calmness of a rest he’s been craving for years.

After their last tour show, Lost At Seventeen decided to take a break. Jeonghan went out on vacation with Seungcheol and a guy who worked at the band’s label (Jonh? Joshua? Soonyoung wasn’t sure); Seokmin made up with his parents and was traveling with them as well; and god knows where Jihoon’s got himself in, because Soonyoung hasn’t talked to him in weeks.

He was too mad. He was too heartbroken. They both were, and it was tiring to be around each other. Soonyoung thought that, if they drifted away, it was for the best.

That’s why when Jihoon’s caller ID (it’s still saved as ‘Cheshire Cat <3’) flashes on Soonyoung phone screen, he considers for a long time if he should pick up or just ignore it. He decided for the former - because if Lee Jihoon finally decided to talk, he had to do it; they might never have another opportunity.

“Hello?” Soonyoung asks as he hears a loud buzz of people and music.

“Hey!” Jihoon’s voice is barely understandable, slow and high pitched - how it becomes when Jihoon drinks. It doesn’t take long to Soonyoung figure out what’s going on. He’s about to put the phone down when he hears Jihoon’s confusing voice “Channie-ah~ Has Soonyoungie talked to you yet?”

Soonyoung freezes. Before he can process Jihoon’s question, the boy starts rambling at the phone again.

“Cause I told you, right?” he pauses to release a hiccup. Something in the back of Soonyoung's mind screams that that is the most adorable thing in the universe. Soonyoung slaps the thought away “I mean, I thought okay maybe he’s just someone nice to have sex with, so I could just fuck someone else and feel the same way, right? Right!” he answers his own retorical question and Soonyoung can’t help but snicker.

Drunk Jihoon was always a preciousness. He was the happy type of drunk - smiling, laughing with no reason, doing stupid things and for once not caring about it. It was always so surprising and adorable - all of the things Jihoon said he wasn’t. And there, right now, he was being that different side of Jihoon.

“The thing is” he goes on by the phone, and Soonyoung listens carefully (like he always does when it comes to Jihoon) “I’m in a gay club, all types of hot guys around me and I’ve been dancing and making out with like half of them.”

Soonyoung’s blood start to boil with no apparent reason - and then he remembers that drunk Jihoon is also easy Jihoon. Clubs were a dangerous place for cute looking boys like Jihoon - even more if he was drunk and defenseless. _What was he doing there_?

“Now listeeen, I know you’ll say that I shouldn't be a slut 'cause I can get a STD or something. Though I haven’t even fucked someone yet- But the point is, I don't understand why-” Soonyoung hears Jihoon let out a deep  breath.

“I mean, why this doesn't feel good? Like, I’ve been making out with like every guy that fits my taste but any of them gets any close to what Soonyoung makes me feel like.” Soonyoung can pratically hear Jihoon’s pout.

Soonyoung is itching to say something, but Jihoon clearly thought he was ranting to Chan, Jihoon’s little brother. The two were incredibly close, specially after their parents death. Soonyoung wasn’t suprised about the things Jihoon told Chan, but why did he called _him_ on mistake?

Oh. A long time ago, Soonyoung messed on Jihoon’s phone and put his number as 1 in speed dial (Chan was 2, of course). Jihoon was probably too drunk to realize he was calling him and not his brother.

“So, has Soonyoung called?” Jihoon goes back to his initial question “Channie-ah, does he want me? Shit, I fucked up real bad. I fucked up a lot. I’m an insecure piece of shit who broke the heart of the only person who ever cared for me. Why would he ever want to see me again, right?”

The line goes quiet except for the noise of music and chatter. Soonyoung can picture the scene: Jihoon, thrown over a balcony, bright lights and some pop diva playing on the background. Hot boys and shirtless waiters all around the place and a lot of liquor and soju - the only alcohols Jihoon actually likes - in front of him.

“Channie-ah?” Jihoon calls “You’re too quiet. Did something happened? If you left me talking alone and went somewhere else I swear to god I’ll burn your Michael Jackson cosplay clothes.”

“Jihoonie, where are you?” Soonyoung voice is raspy from speaking for the first time in a long time, but there is a loving, sweet tone to it as well.

“Chan- No, who is this?” There’s a small pause before Soonyoung hears Jihoon muttering an uncountable number of 'shit’s.

“Jihoonie” Soonyoung calls again “Where are you?”

“You wasn’t suppose to-” Jihoon tumbles on his words, and Soonyoung smiles softly at that “I mean, you shouldn’t have-”

“Love” Soonyoung reassures him with the sweet word. “I have my keys on hand already _. Where are you_?”

The laugh Jihoon releases as he tells him the adress is music still ringing in Soonyoung hears when he leaves the house.

 

° 17 °

 

“Good morning.”

This time, when Jihoon hears the sweet, still-weak-from-just-waking-up, voice, he doesn't startle and doesn't freak out. He just rolls in the bed and entangles his hands automatically to Soonyoung’s now blue locks. Jihoon caresses the soft hair, hands traveling down to Soonyoung round cheeks, jawline and neck, settling on his nape, playing with the short hair there.

The drummer hums satisfied, almost purring. He nuzzles his nose in Jihoon's collarbone and places an open mouthed kiss there.

“We’re not having morning sex.” Jihoon affirmates before Soonyoung could go much further.

“Aww, why not?” Soonyoung pouts, and it fits him so well Jihoon almost gives in. Almost.

“Noooo” he says “Go brush your teeth.”

Soonyoung laughs lightly, showing that big silly smile of his, and leaves the bed. Jihoon kind of regrets making the other leave, because now the bed felt empty and lonely - even though is a very fancy hotel bed, not a dirty one from the motels they used to go to.

When Soonyoung picked Jihoon up at the club, the guitarist was pretty needy. They almost done it in the car, but Soonyoung cutted it.

 _‘You deserve so much better’_ he said as he cupped Jihoon's cheeks and smiled lovingly. Jihoon melted, of course. _‘Come on, I have an idea.’_

So, he took Jihoon to one of the fanciest, coolest, prettiest hotels in town - 5 stars or some shit like that (they had the money since their tour sold quite well). Their bed had soft silk sheets in pretty pastel colors with flowers painted on the pillows. The walls had flowery wallpaper and there was even a crystal chandelier hanging on the ceiling. The room smelled good and fresh, definitely not of vomit like the motels. There was even a menu placed next to a phone at the nightstand; Jihoon takes the menu and flips through pages and pages of room service. He decides to order american breakfast for two.

Never in his life he thought he would have breakfast with Kwon Soonyoung on a 5 star hotel.

Soonyoung comes out of the bathroom and this is when Jihoon realizes he's still naked. Actually, both of them are. Jihoon scrambles for his clothes on the floor next to the bed and throws an underwear at Soonyoung's face.

“Put on some clothes, for fuck’s sake.”

“I thought we were comfortable with each other's bodies. _Really_ comfortable.” Soonyoung sends him a smugly smile while putting the tiny piece of cloth on. Jihoon blushes unconsciously as he throws a shirt over his head; it's Soonyoung's, so it's rather large and fits like a dress to Jihoon.

“Yes, but I don't want to have breakfast naked. It’s weird.”

Soonyoung laughs sweetly, coming closer to Jihoon and sniffing the guitarist’s hair. “You're weird.”

“I’m not-”

“But I love you.”

Jihoon's eyes widen. That's it. There it was. He said it.

Shit. _Shit shit shit shit shit._

“Shit.” Jihoon escapes, covering his mouth quickly right afterwards.

“It’s no shit! I do love you, Hoonie.” Jihoon is about to interrupt and say something, but Soonyoung cuts him “I loved since you told me you made a tattoo to make your brother remember to always smile, I loved since you freaked the fuck out of the guys who were bullying my sister, I loved you from the moment I saw you and you're pretty face. Did I told you I thought you were a girl? I did, I-” a finger in Soonyoung's lips breaks the monologue.

“You talk too much when you're nervous.” Jihoon holds Soonyoung's hands, knowing the anxiety must be creeping up inside Soonyoung.

The drummer simply laughs, though, eyes crinkling into a thin line.

“The point is, I love you.” he continues anyway “I was an asshole for not saying it earlier, for not making things exact earlier and for giving up on you. You don't need to _say_ it back. There's no need to say 'I love you' for me to know you do. I know it's hard for you to admit it and there's the fans and the media too, right? ”

Jihoon nods. Yes, Soonyoung knew him the best. He didn't said a word about his feelings but Soonyoung guessed.

Jeonghan once told Jihoon he would know that it was love when he could feel so connected to his partner that they could understand each other fully, trust each other fully and be fully honest to each other.

_‘That, my short dongsaeng, it's the definition of soulmate. If you find that person, never let them go.’_

Jihoon didn't wanted to ever have Soonyoung out of his life again.

“I wrote ‘Can Your Be Mine?’ about you.” Jihoon manages to creep out the weirdest type of confession. But again, he was weird.

But Soonyoung understood. And the drummer smiled. Brightly, so much it was blinding. He leaned closer, lips approaching Jihoon's, nose brushing slightly agaisnt the other's cheek.

When the gap between their lips closed, they knew everything was, finally, right.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about that shitty teeth-rotting ending ;;


End file.
